I Smothered it~ Scorpio New Moon Solar Eclipse 10.25.2022

I smothered it;

I smothered it ‘ere full breath could be undertaken,

Re-animating a once lovely yet still-past, dead Thing.

Though saddened I was by the doing of it;

I have no regret of the act,

and decision for it, in itself.

The returning of the Thing to Rest,

‘ere accountability be demanded of me for its very Existence,

was the proper course to be undertaken .

One day future when glimpsing past,

it shall be known that the ending of the Thing

was the beginning of the Liberation

for Us each.

I wish it to be understood;

that my relinquishment unto Death,

of the very Thing that I desired so,

is offering of testament to a growth

bearing fully this humble recognition

that should the beloved Thing Become

once more Arisen

finding itself Reborn unto a new Day

it’s Promise to resurrected Life was gifted by a Power

far exceeding of mine alone.

Sharon Brodbeck 10.21.2022

Into the Mystic

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On Grief

Let your grief be as a warm blanket passed down through many generations of those that also have weathered this storm and added to this rich weave the thread of their own survival;

Credit: Joanna Nix Walkup on Unsplash

As the icy winter gale wails and thrashes and moans about you, a mirror to all that you have locked within, allow the weight of this blanket to anchor you to the world you fear is being torn away from beneath you;

Find the assurance within the thick wrapping of so many common threads, that even though you now feel threatened within every fiber of your being by the storm that rages on both around you and within you, you will indeed survive this tempest to meet with a new dawn;

Though you may emerge from this period bearing the bruises of the gale that engulfed you, homage to the truth of your ordeal, you will add your own thread of wisdom, born of your companionship with grief, to the ageless blanket that shall be lovingly availed to the next whom finds themselves in need of it.

© Sharon Brodbeck 9.29.2022

Into The Mystic

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New Moon Solar Eclipse 7/11/2010 @ 20′ Cancer

The New Moon Solar Eclipse occurs on July 11th, 2010 @ 3:41 pm EST @ 19°24′ Cancer.

This is a total solar eclipse and for those that are interested in the specifics regarding path of totality, duration etc. detailed information can be found at NASA-Total Solar Eclipse of 2010 July.

Solar eclipses are supercharged New Moons and bring about completions to a way of Being that allows for new ways to come forth. Endings can occur in a myriad of forms dependent on your individual relationship to the Eclipse as reflected within your personal chart.

In my previous post on the recent Lunar Eclipse in Capricorn I shared my personal view of Eclipses. Following is a brief excerpt from that post:

My view of eclipses is that they function as course correctors. Where eclipses occur in our chart is where that which is no longer productive for our growth and viability may come to an abrupt conclusion or be suddenly altered to allow for a new course to occur. Though eclipses often do usher in extremes of experience there is no need to fear them if you embrace that what is leaving your life or being altered in some form was not in your best interest any longer and/or has simply run it’s course.

This current lunation-eclipse is following a pattern that has been prevalent for all of this year where the New Moon occurs after the Full Moon in the same sign. This is a reversal of the typical pattern of Full and New Moons and has brought to the forefront the culminations associated with Full Moons before we are able to set new intentions and sow seeds at the following New Moon. Robert Wilkinson at Aquarius Papers explains this phenomena in more depth in his articles related to the Moons and Eclipses. If you have yet to visit Aquarius Papers, Robert offers a wealth of information that appeals to a wide range of astrology students and practitioners.

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Reflecting (ok, maybe rambling) on my 12th House Gem Moon/Cancer Asc as We Proceed to the Cardinal Crosses> Weary yet Hopeful

My 12th house Moon at 29° Gemini conjunct my Cancer ascendant has always been a challenge for me. Not a fluffy moon, it receives squares from my angular South Node, Pluto, Uranus, Jupiter and Mercury at the bottom of my chart and at the top has squares to my North Node and Chiron. Throw in an opposition to Mars and voila!, challenged Moon. {{smiles and reminds self to love my moon anyway}}

Transiting Pluto spent many years opposing my Moon and during that time the dissolution of female relationships was absolute, in regards to friends and family, less my daughters. My relationship with my daughters strengthened and evolved into a deep friendship and something far more beautiful and fulfilling than I could have imagined I would have with them at their current ages of 22 and 18. Friendship, true and real friendship is what we have now and that means everything to me for if there is no friendship in any form of a relationship than there is no relationship, period. I honestly believe that. I do not feel that blood relationships hold us together, at least it has not been true for me, friendship does. Yet, the relationship with my daughters while transformed was done so under duress.

In 2005 I had my Jupiter return, transiting Pluto conjuncted my natal Mars triggering my natal Mars-Pluto square and Saturn finished his transit through my 1st house and ended with a conjunction to my Leo Venus triggering my natal Venus-Saturn square. Divorce, followed by a financial collapse, was the result for me. By the end of 2006, my material net worth was packable, literally luggage tote-able{{laughs}}, attire and a few keepsakes plus my faithful little dog. That’s it. Everything else was gone. Home, auto’s, furnishings, bank accounts…gone in the blink of an eye it seemed. I have come to accept that this was the result of my dragging my tail on bringing to closure many situations when I should have instead of attempting to be the “good girl” and my previously warped perception of whom I thought I needed to be to be ‘spiritual’ undoubtedly contributed to my sluggishness in making willing changes too.

Sometimes I start to fall back on the old crutch of,  “Hey, I was presented with a whole plate of Shit when I entered this life” and then I check it quickly, for it is no excuse for my not attending to what was in my power to attend to and crutches like that one just catapult you right back into victim-hood. That is never a productive place to be and I very sincerely believe that these times are we are in will no longer allow for that state of consciousness. We now must take full accountability for our actions and non-actions, that is the only way through this pass, the best that I can see. No more pointing fingers and hiding behind shadows, at least not for me it would seem, for those shadows have been outed for me non-stop and I have to own them, there just is no other option even though I cannot logically explain why that is to someone that doesn’t already get it, you know?

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Saturn square Pluto @ Age 18> Through my Daughter’s Eyes & Within my Moon’s Heart

Yesterday, I shared about my daughter’s Libra Sun being transited conjunct by Saturn, so she is also having Pluto square to her Sun at this time.

For myself, my natal Moon and Cancer Ascendant is being squared by Saturn and opposed by Pluto.

My natal Uranus is conjunct tr. Saturn and square tr. Pluto.

Everything feels to be of great meaning now.

Each day brings a new revelation.

Yet with each new insight, there is less and less certainty as to what the final outcome will be.

There are big changes right around the bend for myself, for both of my daughters, for all of us on this planet…

My daughter made a recent posting to her tumblr page that I feel captured this energy of change quite well and I thought I’d share it here, unedited.

My Moon’s heart is deeply touched by my daughter today and I feel proud of her, yet I am also a bit nostalgic and blue….

I suppose I should also mention, that transiting Jupiter is now upon my daughters IC, and almost upon my MC.

Blessings to All!

Feel free to share your personal thoughts/stories. Kachina

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Excuse my terrible grammar

~APB 2/1/10

Day after day, I find myself standing in a chaotic mix of people rushing around a crowded train station. Everyone is always in a hurry to progress to their next destination, always so sure of where they are headed. To my right is a train heading to a place very familiar and comforting; a home if you will. A home full of memories and security. This place is however quite dull and filled with great loneliness. I look to my left and discover a chance to be taken somewhere new, to a place so beautiful and full of excitement and happiness. This place, as tempting as it may seem, is full of insecurity and risks to be taken.

Day in and day out, I stand before my two paths of choice. Never making any final desicions and being perfectly content sitting in stagnation. Suddenly, I begin thinking about time and how much of it I may or may not have left. I become anxious, panicking at the thought of having to decide. I know that I can not take any longer to make this choice. My mind is racing, and I know what I have to do. I inhale deeply, and enter the train on the left.

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Healing the Wounds of Perceived “Failures” of Responsibility to Others

Please do not Judge Me for Living My Truth

It’s mine and I own it whatever it’s Proof

Please do not Fear for Me for my Soul is Safe

Should you see Darkness within Me

Fear not, for it is in the right Place

My Lessons are Many, my fears may be great

Yet it is Mine to Reveal, and Restore without Hate

If ever you view me standing at Hell’s Darkest Gate

Please let it be known, the Light in my Heart, Shall be my guide Home.

When I struggle with Darkness, Fear and ill Faith

Your Love, plain and simple, shall help me find Grace

So Pray, judge not my fears, with your Anger nor Pain

Instead speed me Light, with Joy, in great Haste!

I ask simply this please…

Do not Judge me for Living my Truth

I AM what I AM and with All of my Might

I AM Purely and Simply

A Being of Light.

~Janya

***A very dear friend of mine penned the above some time ago and I felt it was perfectly befitting my little tale today. Thank you Janya, for allowing me to share your words of wisdom!

The past few days I have been in the space of a deep clearing of wounds that I had no idea I was carrying until recently.

That is not unusual at all though, especially after you have been on the healing path for a good amount of time, for we clear the ‘knowns’ first, the wounds that are on the surface that can still be seen in some manner, and then we go deeper than.

Deeper Than…I first began to hear those words 2 years ago. Deeper Than.

And I replied, “Yeah, sure, why not? I’m game!”.

That must have been my overly enthusiastic Uranus at work there. ((sardonic smile))

Seriously though, I have no regrets, not in the long run.

I do have my hard days though, just like everyone else, and on those days I can tend to be quite sarcastic, it is my way of keeping myself moving forward and my head above water during the really tough stuff.

As I’ve said a million and one times, and others have too..a sense of humor is mandatory when on the path of Healing.

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Before I go into sharing my experiences and my forthcoming understandings of said experiences (that precipitated the title of this post), I’ll share the lowdown on my current astrological transits:

Transit Saturn (responsibility/the past) is on my 3rd/4th house cusp. (local community, brothers&sisters/inner self and more of the past). 🙂

Tr. Saturn is squaring Tr. Pluto whom is now within 3 degree’s of my descendant, so likely now affecting not only my 6th house (service to others, personal health) yet also my 7th house (committed relationships).

Squares are frictional and we all currently have the transit of Saturn sq. Pluto somewhere in our charts, I just happen to have mine as I detailed above.

I also have the coming Full-Moon Lunar Eclipse on New Years Eve conjunct my Ascendant (self)/ Descendant (other), squaring my natal Jupiter/Mercury (higher/expanded understanding) conjunction in Libra (relationships/balance/justice) and this all is forming a loose Grand Cross with my Chiron (healing/wounds) at the top of my chart(sharing my understanding of this wound to heal thyself) .

On the day that this area of self-clearing began for me, transiting Moon triggered the Saturn/Pluto square by forming an inconjunct and trine respectively, when the Moon aspected conjunct my natal Saturn in the 11th house (friendships/groups/hopes).

I’m not sure who I wrote that for, my readers or myself..likely more for myself. (I hope you benefit, but I am determined to do what I have to do here to heal thyself.) ((admitting with no shame))

Though it just made my tummy flip upside down again for the upteenth time this week.

So I am steeping in relationships right now, and issues of responsibility to others, and the need to regenerate in some manner, how I have perceived and/or done, all of this before.

Following is my tale, of uncovering wounds of perceived failure, and the messages I have received, concerning our responsibility to others. I confess the tale is somewhat long, for I could find no way to shorten it and still get my point across..so you may wish to take out the dog and get another cup of joe before you proceed..you brave, brave Soul. 🙂

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Grandmother gifts Snuggies in Attempt to Thwart Out-of-Wedlock “Boot-Knockin”: A True Moon Story :)

Here we are counting down the last days until Christmas, and all the young people in my life are a mixed bag of anticipation, hope and trepidation (((laughs))).

Yes, trepidation, over the possibilities of just what might be inside those innocuous appearing wrapped packages, under their grandma’s tree.

It is a well-known fact that grandmothers can, and will, gift you with what they think you need.

After all, they have eons more of experience in life matters than your parents do, and to them, your parents are still kids anyway so therefore they simply cannot be relied on to make sure you have everything you really, truly need.

Now make no mistake, if grandma feels you need Preparation-H (let’s not even get into how or why she would think that..UGH), but the point is, if she THINKS you need Preparation-H, you can bet your arse, that is exactly what you will be unwrapping in front of the whole family at Christmas.

And be prepared, to suck up your mortification and smile big for that picture you know she is going to insist on taking to mark that special occasion.

Nothing like being memorialized in the family albums for all-time with your big ‘ole grin and a tube of Prep-H. (((giggles)))

Who hasn’t been there done that one, though??!!

It is just a part of being a dutiful and appreciative grandchild, and if you were fortunate enough to have grandparents, and they treated you well as grandparents should..then hey, what’s a little personal mortification once or twice a year to show how much you love them, right?

So, onto the story that prompted this blog today.

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Meditational Thought of the Day: Are Your Emotions Serving You?

All of our Emotions exist to Serve Us.

When you feel good, and are in a vibration such as Joy, Passion, Optimism and/or Contentment, it is a clear indicator that you are on course, in your path.

This is an experience, be it of a solitary nature or shared with an other, that you want to continue to embrace, for it shall serve you well.

When you feel poorly, and are in a vibration such as Frustration, Anger, Despair and/or Worry, it is a clear indicator that you are off course, in your path.

This is an experience, be it of a solitary nature or shared with an other, that in it’s current form, is not of your best interest and will not serve you well.

By embracing the emotional scale instead of denying it, you are availing yourself to a valuable navigational system that shall assist you in steering through these currents, that we term The Human Experience.

Master Your Emotions and enjoy smoother Sailing.

Allow Your Emotions to Master You and the waters shall be ever turbulent.

Listen to Your Emotions, allow them to share their Wisdom, then act upon the Wisdom they have shared, and chart your course accordingly.

Have courage and trust, in Yourself and your ability, to be the Fearless Master, of Your Ship.

~kachina

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Nostalgic to the Core > Natal Moon transited by Uranus, Saturn and Pluto:Daughter’s 22nd Birthday

Today, is my eldest daughter’s birthday.

Today, she is 22.

Yet yesterday she was a defiant teen, and the day before that an awkward pre-teen, and the day before that, it was her first day of kindergarten.

The day previous to that day, she was the toddler with her arms wrapped around my neck, her tiny little face peeking through my hair, as she flirted with whomever was offering her, a much beloved cookie.

Not so many days ago, she was placed upon my breast, this newborn delight of mine, and she smiled up at me with a little pucker of a smile, and I felt a Love and Peace, that is the gift of Motherhood, of which we lack words of enough depth and richness, to even remotely describe this Heavenly Space.

Mother’s reading this, understand this and are in no need of words to describe what this is when holding company with one another, for we feel it and just understand it, this sacred space of a deep, eternal love that we enter into, within these rites of Motherhood.

Yes, I am deeply nostalgic today, and am savoring each and every drop, every single moment of memory, that returns to me this day.

You see, I feel we have these moments, and the whole of these moments, defines the Truth of our existence.

These moments, that define us, are the moments that reside in our Hearts, and are ever present, and ever alive.

I do not believe in living in the past, and yet, I do believe we occasionally need to take a moment, to scan around to be certain, that we have brought forward, all of the really precious wonders, that have brought us to Be, whom we are now.

The moments I carry in my Heart, those shared with both of my daughter’s, and the gift’s they have graced me with, in those shared experiences, are directly responsible for whom I have come to Be, today.

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There are many things I intended to write about today.

Yet as soon as I awoke, the myriad of moments that I shared with my daughter, from the first that she entered this world, indeed from the moment I conceived her, continue to drift through my mind and senses.

This nostalgia is likely intensified today as I am currently in a period with heavy transits to my natal Moon (mother,women), with transiting Uranus and Saturn in square, and Pluto in opposition.

So, I thought maybe I’d try something a little different today, and I am going to review my personal chart for what I had transpiring the year I birthed this lovely child of mine.

If you are so inclined, feel free to share your personal experiences/astrology data in the comment section, I would enjoy sharing this “Sea of Nostalgia” with other parents that wish to savor their moments of wonder the year their children arrived.

So, here goes, a look at how this child entered my universe, via astrological influences. 🙂

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