Transitional times can be wearying even for those that are well accustomed to transformation through challenge.
As we approach the forthcoming Cardinal Squares and Crosses of Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Pluto, it is of great importance that we seek to hold our balance and attend our situations as they arise, keeping our lives as streamlined and simple as is possible.
When in periods of change, especially when there is such a large amount of outer planet involvement, much can feel as if it is spinning out of control and this can lead to feelings of despair, anger, resentment and loss of faith and belief.
While transformation due to challenging circumstances is seldom pain free we needn’t go through unnecessary struggle. By practicing conscious awareness and making choices based upon our well-being we can effectively prevent the arising of situations that will only serve to hinder our progression and growth.
For those that are struggling during these times I offer these insights and tips on what has sustained and assisted me through the more difficult periods.
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Grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. ~The Serenity Prayer
This passage is more valuable than gold during times of crisis.
When faced with loss such as through the dissolution of relationships, one’s livelihood, one’s social status and/or financial and material assets or through dissolution of previously held belief’s it is quite natural to feel dismay, grief and shock initially.
It is important though to not remain in these states any longer than is necessary in properly honoring the situation for when a challenging event occurs it is not unusual for it to trigger other situations and getting bogged down within one situation leaves you less able to respond to a subsequent event.
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“To Accept the Things I cannot Change”
Whatever has occurred up until this very moment has indeed occurred and no matter how much we might wish that it had not happened or how hard we try to deny the reality of the situation it simply is what it is.
Spending an excessive amount of time and energy in over analyzing the whats/how’s/why’s of a situation seriously depletes the energy you now require to heal yourself and move on in a manner that is timely for you.
Have trust that what you need to know and glean from any given experience will present itself when the time is right and if you already practice conscious awareness then you likely have found from previous experience that often more pieces connected to this current event must reveal themselves before you can see and understand the whole picture.
Do not allow yourself to sink into believing that what has occurred was a ‘punishment’ for it was not. Hard adjustments sometimes occur when we are being realigned on our personal course and this is not a reflection of our being good or bad it is merely the result of a previous pathway needing to be adjusted and/or eliminated.
What has occurred will reveal it’s true nature at some point and we always find that there was meaning in what has transpired if we only allow for the full expression of the experience to unfold and the truth of it to unveil.
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“Courage to Change the Things I Can”
During periods in our life when it feels as if external influences are dictating the conditions of our lives it is important to hold fast to one pure Truth: We alone have full control of our response to any given situation regardless of external circumstances.
This simple truth can make all the difference in determining our rapid rise from a situation or our steady decline into apathy and despair.
Learn to act and not to react.
Do not be baited into reactionary responses for you will just end up on a hellish merry-go-round that leaves you spinning and out of balance.
When we are well-centered we are quite capable of moving the mountain before us or finding an alternate route around the obstacle in our path.
A well-centered individual that practices decisive action and does not give their power away by being reactive is graced with rapid adaptability and the ability to make changes free of the limitations of accrued baggage from previous experiences and in proper timing that is perfect for themselves.
Allowing oneself to be baited into reaction can lead to a lack of self-worth and courage through repeated exchanges with those that would seek to wound you by undermining your faith in yourself no matter if they are operating out of deliberate intent or ignorance.
While you cannot change what has already occurred it is completely within your power to choose to what degree you allow a situation to effect you and it is always solely your choice as to what actions you preform next.
After you have taken the time to assess and adjust to what has already occurred make the choice to not be sidetracked by naysayers and critics, nor from your own self-doubts born of unnecessary exchanges with these sorts, and take the next step to move forward to that which you need to continue your growth and secure your well-being.
Do not allow yourself to believe that you are somehow unworthy or undeserving of good things due to previous experiences that did not pan out the way you wished them to.
Often for something grand and new to enter something else must first depart.
Don’t give up on making changes and taking actions by being apathetic due to previous situations not coming to fruition as you had wished.
The past is done so be courageous in spite of all you have been through and get on with living!
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“The Wisdom to Know the Difference”
This one is simple.
You cannot change the past.
Anything that has occurred right up to this moment as you are reading this is done.
Yet here is the gem: Everything from this current point of now and within all of your now moments is completely available to be molded and shaped as you so choose!
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Learn to Say, “No, thank you” to often well-intentioned but unfruitful advice.
Most have individuals in their life that while well-intentioned are nevertheless prone to giving advice even when unsolicited and that are unable to conceive that not everything works equally well for everyone.
Also of note is that during times that we are dealing with challenging circumstances we often seek the advice of others in hopes of finding a quick pass through the tunnel we are currently in.
Sometimes this works and sometimes it does not.
I do believe it is possible to have too much advice and too many advisers and this can lead to confusion and indecision when what we were seeking was steadfast resolution.
Here are a few observations concerning this:
If you choose to share your situation with an other be mindful that most will interpret your sharing as your seeking advice and they will likely offer their opinions.
Yet just because someone responds with their opinions/advice this does not mean you are required to accept their advice and to act upon it.
If it does not feel right for your personal situation do not entertain it and certainly do not take actions based upon it!
This holds true for anyone you seek to share with no matter if they are considered a guru in their area of expertise or if it is your dear Aunt Becky that has never experienced what you are currently dealing with.
If it doesn’t feel right for your personal circumstances a simple statement of, “Thank you for your consideration but I do not feel that is the proper approach for me.”, is sufficient.
That’s it.
If they should have issues with your not accepting or utilizing their advice then it is their issue not yours.
Also be cautious that your need for security and comfort does not lead you into the: “I’m going to just phone so-and-so and so-and-so and his brother Tom too, to see what they think about this”‘ for it is very likely you will soon find you bit off more than you can chew.
Suddenly everyone expects updates and you can end up in an endless cycle of rehash to the point that you are stuck in a time-loop and cannot move forward from a difficult event.
We all feel the need for advice, comfort and support at times and that is completely natural.
Do yourself the kindness of choosing wisely whom you seek and accept advice from.
Learn to trust your intuition and knowledge attained from past experiences and do not give your power away to any other by taking actions out of a false sense of obligation.
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When It is Time to Move Forward ~MOVE FORWARD
When we have a crisis occur we are often drawn to support groups in our need to share with others that we feel will understand our pain.
While I feel many are served by support groups I also believe we can get caught in a cycle of rehash/repeat to the point that no fruitful actions are taken to move on and heal from a situation and instead reinforce the painful circumstance by continual reflection upon it hence causing us to become static.
In certain crisis situations, the first step in dealing with what you have been through is to claim survivor status and there are many support groups geared toward helping one to achieve this.
Trust that you know when it is the proper time for you to move forward from survival status and honor yourself with this graduation when it is due.
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Know Thy Limits and Honor Them
While it is saddening to acknowledge this point it is also unfortunately true.
Sometimes we have people in our lives that even though they are aware of the difficulties we are having they cannot or will not honor our need for the space and time to deal with what we must and to nurture ourselves back to well-being.
If you have people in your life that continue to barrage you with requests and/or demands and you are already stretched to your limits admit to yourself that this is so and honor yourself by saying NO to requests that prevent your addressing your own needs at this time.
A simple NO is all that is required in most situations.
Resist explaining your decision to death for this only depletes your energy and causes you needless frustration. In truth, a need to repeatedly try to explain a “no” response, is just a plea for understanding and one that is likely to be unheard for either the one you are pleading with cannot currently conceive of where you are at or quite frankly they just don’t care for if they did understand they would not continue to be demanding of your attention/service.
In times of crisis it is not unusual to experience a weening of our relationships yet it is important to remember that if this occurs it is a good thing for we are deserving of relationships that are supportive of our well-being not just when everything is coming up roses but also when we have times of hardship.
Bless those that are unable to be what you need at this time and release them.
Maybe when your situation has been traversed they will return.
If they do not, be in gratitude for that which you shared and accept that your parting and separation of your paths was due and at some point it will become clear as to why.
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Be Prepared to Walk it Alone yet Be In Gratitude when Others Offer Support
When experiencing difficulties it is natural to hope that our Knight in Shining Armor or our Fairy Godmother will sweep in and save us by making everything magically better and beautiful again.
I wish I could say I have experienced this but I have not and I know many others that haven’t had this experience either.
I have come to embrace the saving of ourselves.
When I let go of the expectation that an other(s) was going to do this or that for me and from their doings my situations would be resolved, I freed myself from a space that only led to anger, resentment and numerous other unproductive states of being, when the other(s) did not/were not able to preform as I had hoped for.
After adjusting my Savior perceptions I now find that I do receive assistance from both those current and newly entering my life and I correlate this to a consciousness shift to be in acceptance of assistance without being expectant of assistance.
This has brought me to an entirely new level of the true nature of the state of Gratitude and I highly recommend this approach.
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Our Expression of Being in Totality Makes Us Unique yet our Individual Hardships are Not So Unique
When within our darkest nights it is easy at times to slip into despair when we believe that we are the only one facing what we are currently going through.
I promise you, that nothing you are experiencing or likely shall ever experience is that unique as to make you the only one ever to have gone through it.
That is not meant to belittle nor lessen your experience.
It is meant to be a life raft when the seas are stormy.
Many suffer far too long due to a mistaken belief that they are the only one’s to have experienced situations that they label as unusual or unique.
This often leads to feelings of guilt and/or shame and the pain that is repressed is not only damaging in the immediate to the individual but also can lead to later dysfunction in all areas of their life.
While not everyone in your life is going to get it do not cease sharing in any manner you feel led to do so for there are others out there who will and/or do get it.
When we overcome our fear of being ostracized for our experiences, we find we are greeted with the support we need and often in miraculous ways to transcend our challenging experiences, hence bringing forth healing from any shame or guilt we may have carried due to previous misconceptions concerning what we have been through.
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The Warmth of the Sun is an experience most Divine when one has had lack of these glorious rays.
Yet it is in the absence of the Sun that we are brought to experience the true nature and beauty of the cool, dark stillness of the Moon.
Upon our emergence from each of these cycles we find less extremity in our Light and Shadow and through this process we find our way to true Transcendence.
Do not fear these ebbs and flows of duality.
Embrace them and allow these cycles to lead you to integral Wholeness and Well-Being. ~Kachina
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