Mars Retro on Venus> Saturn in Libra, 4 Planets & Chiron in 8th + Merc Direct in 7th

“convention is not for me

I have tried

for all of my effort

I fail

and am left puzzled

as to why others

continue to push

the same buttons

over and over

expecting a different result

insanity

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Mercury Retrograde 7th House: Learning to Economize my Gift of Gab

Whew! This Mercury retrograde was quite a whopper for me!

I’ve been noting many others sharing that sentiment, and undeniably, we have a lot occurring around this retrograde making it a little more difficult to try to isolate what was effecting what and in what manner.

I have had days these past weeks that putting together a sentence was more effort than it was worth leaving me exhausted for hours after (and no, sadly that is not an exaggeration).

Too, my conversations have really been out in left-field, even my Merc-Jup-Uranus stellium has been a little surprised by the stuff coming forth from my mouth.

I was talking to a friend yesterday, and out of the blue while I am giving him the rundown on his current transits, I interject with, “I need to go swimsuit shopping”, and then proceed to tell him all about it, whatever it was that I was prattling on about concerning swimsuit shopping, for I am not even certain what I said.

Maybe I was channeling Elle MacPherson {{laughs}}, hey it’s a possibility she’s been on my mind quite a bit lately and I have no idea why, afterall, my brain is amped out on retro of late.

Whatever it was all about, it worked for him though{{big smile}} for he readily offered to go swim suit shopping with me.

Men are visual creatures, and that is a good thing in this case, for I am not certain what all I said in that conversation, and just in case he picked up on Elle, well let’s just say he is going to have to spin a really good projection my way to be seeing that.

At 40, I don’t mind nearly as much as when I was younger, as long as I benefit in a way that pleases me, it’s all good, right?{{HUGE grins}}

Too, after sharing this conversation I had with one male friend with another male in my life, I received a hearty second offer of companionship for my swimsuit shopping excursion. 😉

Now that I’ve digressed, and confessed, my personal stuff again for the zillionth time this year so far…back to my attempt at talking Mercury Retro.

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Mars Retro-ing with Venus, Saturn in Libra & 4 Planets + NN in Cap 7th: Today, it feels like this…

if only for the briefest

of moments

‘tween dropped notes

of casual exchange

arises a verse

brought to your lips

its tone

come forth unbidden

no longer veiled within

tangles of rhyme

freed then I would be

to recite mine own

verse of love

liberating my fore silent lips

could heavens glimpse

then await our sight

if only you should

respond yea to the query

resting still ever patient

within my Heart.

~kachina ’10

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Lunar Eclipse conj. Cancer Ascendant: “Seeking Missing Personality, please call 555-xxxx if found.”

So here’s the deal.

I am very quiet right now.

That is very odd for me.

Not only am I quiet outwardly, I am inner quiet too.

I am not referring to ‘stillness’, for this, is not that.

This, is the Void.

This is what came of my Ascendant/Descendant being aligned with the eclipse on New Years Eve.

And then some.

Add to that Mercury being retrograde in my 7th house, and I am crippled in a sense, in interaction with others.

Now I know what this is all about in the big picture, and I know how great this shall be in the end of this cycle, yet it doesn’t change that right now my personality is registering at less than zero, in my opinion.

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Healing the Wounds of Perceived “Failures” of Responsibility to Others

Please do not Judge Me for Living My Truth

It’s mine and I own it whatever it’s Proof

Please do not Fear for Me for my Soul is Safe

Should you see Darkness within Me

Fear not, for it is in the right Place

My Lessons are Many, my fears may be great

Yet it is Mine to Reveal, and Restore without Hate

If ever you view me standing at Hell’s Darkest Gate

Please let it be known, the Light in my Heart, Shall be my guide Home.

When I struggle with Darkness, Fear and ill Faith

Your Love, plain and simple, shall help me find Grace

So Pray, judge not my fears, with your Anger nor Pain

Instead speed me Light, with Joy, in great Haste!

I ask simply this please…

Do not Judge me for Living my Truth

I AM what I AM and with All of my Might

I AM Purely and Simply

A Being of Light.

~Janya

***A very dear friend of mine penned the above some time ago and I felt it was perfectly befitting my little tale today. Thank you Janya, for allowing me to share your words of wisdom!

The past few days I have been in the space of a deep clearing of wounds that I had no idea I was carrying until recently.

That is not unusual at all though, especially after you have been on the healing path for a good amount of time, for we clear the ‘knowns’ first, the wounds that are on the surface that can still be seen in some manner, and then we go deeper than.

Deeper Than…I first began to hear those words 2 years ago. Deeper Than.

And I replied, “Yeah, sure, why not? I’m game!”.

That must have been my overly enthusiastic Uranus at work there. ((sardonic smile))

Seriously though, I have no regrets, not in the long run.

I do have my hard days though, just like everyone else, and on those days I can tend to be quite sarcastic, it is my way of keeping myself moving forward and my head above water during the really tough stuff.

As I’ve said a million and one times, and others have too..a sense of humor is mandatory when on the path of Healing.

**********************************************************************

Before I go into sharing my experiences and my forthcoming understandings of said experiences (that precipitated the title of this post), I’ll share the lowdown on my current astrological transits:

Transit Saturn (responsibility/the past) is on my 3rd/4th house cusp. (local community, brothers&sisters/inner self and more of the past). 🙂

Tr. Saturn is squaring Tr. Pluto whom is now within 3 degree’s of my descendant, so likely now affecting not only my 6th house (service to others, personal health) yet also my 7th house (committed relationships).

Squares are frictional and we all currently have the transit of Saturn sq. Pluto somewhere in our charts, I just happen to have mine as I detailed above.

I also have the coming Full-Moon Lunar Eclipse on New Years Eve conjunct my Ascendant (self)/ Descendant (other), squaring my natal Jupiter/Mercury (higher/expanded understanding) conjunction in Libra (relationships/balance/justice) and this all is forming a loose Grand Cross with my Chiron (healing/wounds) at the top of my chart(sharing my understanding of this wound to heal thyself) .

On the day that this area of self-clearing began for me, transiting Moon triggered the Saturn/Pluto square by forming an inconjunct and trine respectively, when the Moon aspected conjunct my natal Saturn in the 11th house (friendships/groups/hopes).

I’m not sure who I wrote that for, my readers or myself..likely more for myself. (I hope you benefit, but I am determined to do what I have to do here to heal thyself.) ((admitting with no shame))

Though it just made my tummy flip upside down again for the upteenth time this week.

So I am steeping in relationships right now, and issues of responsibility to others, and the need to regenerate in some manner, how I have perceived and/or done, all of this before.

Following is my tale, of uncovering wounds of perceived failure, and the messages I have received, concerning our responsibility to others. I confess the tale is somewhat long, for I could find no way to shorten it and still get my point across..so you may wish to take out the dog and get another cup of joe before you proceed..you brave, brave Soul. 🙂

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