For My Daughter on Her 19th Birthday

My daughter Alexandra is celebrating her 19th birthday today. We no longer reside together, so when I shared her gift with her a little early during one of her “pop-in, say hi’s and eat for free’s”, I had not yet purchased a card to go with her gift. She asked me to forgo the card and instead asked for a post that was just hers on her birthday.

So, here you go Ali-Boo…this one is just for you.

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Reflecting (ok, maybe rambling) on my 12th House Gem Moon/Cancer Asc as We Proceed to the Cardinal Crosses> Weary yet Hopeful

My 12th house Moon at 29° Gemini conjunct my Cancer ascendant has always been a challenge for me. Not a fluffy moon, it receives squares from my angular South Node, Pluto, Uranus, Jupiter and Mercury at the bottom of my chart and at the top has squares to my North Node and Chiron. Throw in an opposition to Mars and voila!, challenged Moon. {{smiles and reminds self to love my moon anyway}}

Transiting Pluto spent many years opposing my Moon and during that time the dissolution of female relationships was absolute, in regards to friends and family, less my daughters. My relationship with my daughters strengthened and evolved into a deep friendship and something far more beautiful and fulfilling than I could have imagined I would have with them at their current ages of 22 and 18. Friendship, true and real friendship is what we have now and that means everything to me for if there is no friendship in any form of a relationship than there is no relationship, period. I honestly believe that. I do not feel that blood relationships hold us together, at least it has not been true for me, friendship does. Yet, the relationship with my daughters while transformed was done so under duress.

In 2005 I had my Jupiter return, transiting Pluto conjuncted my natal Mars triggering my natal Mars-Pluto square and Saturn finished his transit through my 1st house and ended with a conjunction to my Leo Venus triggering my natal Venus-Saturn square. Divorce, followed by a financial collapse, was the result for me. By the end of 2006, my material net worth was packable, literally luggage tote-able{{laughs}}, attire and a few keepsakes plus my faithful little dog. That’s it. Everything else was gone. Home, auto’s, furnishings, bank accounts…gone in the blink of an eye it seemed. I have come to accept that this was the result of my dragging my tail on bringing to closure many situations when I should have instead of attempting to be the “good girl” and my previously warped perception of whom I thought I needed to be to be ‘spiritual’ undoubtedly contributed to my sluggishness in making willing changes too.

Sometimes I start to fall back on the old crutch of,  “Hey, I was presented with a whole plate of Shit when I entered this life” and then I check it quickly, for it is no excuse for my not attending to what was in my power to attend to and crutches like that one just catapult you right back into victim-hood. That is never a productive place to be and I very sincerely believe that these times are we are in will no longer allow for that state of consciousness. We now must take full accountability for our actions and non-actions, that is the only way through this pass, the best that I can see. No more pointing fingers and hiding behind shadows, at least not for me it would seem, for those shadows have been outed for me non-stop and I have to own them, there just is no other option even though I cannot logically explain why that is to someone that doesn’t already get it, you know?

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My Children and Their “Rabbit-Rabbit Days”: The Choosing of Destiny over Fate?

Some time ago I wrote a little piece about an experience I had with my daughters when they were young concerning their observance of their sacred “Rabbit-Rabbit Days“.

I suppose I wanted to share this story today, as we are quickly approaching a period that may necessitate our needing to make choices quickly from that which is presented to us by the Cardinal Transits of Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Pluto, and I feel this story may hold relevance for those that are seeking to roll with the coming changes with as much grace and ease as is possible.

At one end of the scale we have those that feel the coming changes are completely beyond our control while on the other end are those that feel all is self-created and within full control of each individual.

I would like to think most of us are balanced fairly well between the extremes.

While I do agree that certain situations and developments do occur in this life that are beyond our control I maintain nonetheless that our actions in regards to said situations/developments are always within our control.

I embrace Astrology from this same standpoint and feel that while we are subjected to certain parameters at certain times, it is entirely up to the individual as to the manner in which one relates to energies at hand and how one chooses to act, or not to act, upon said energies that determines the outcome.

For me, this is the difference between fate and destiny.

I shared this Rabbit-Rabbit Days story previously in forums and many seemed to have enjoyed it, so dusting it off and sharing here today, take what you will from it and discard whatever doesn’t appeal to you personally!

Blessings. Kachina

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~Rabbit Rabbit Days~

When my daughter’s were young they had a monthly tradition and Rabbit-Rabbit Day is what they termed it. The first day of every month and immediately upon awaking they were to speak aloud “Rabbit Rabbit!”.  No other words could precede this sacred chant for if one were to utter any other words first it would certainly mean a month of doom and no good things could possibly occur in one’s life until the next Rabbit-Rabbit Day was properly honored.

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Saturn square Pluto @ Age 18> Through my Daughter’s Eyes & Within my Moon’s Heart

Yesterday, I shared about my daughter’s Libra Sun being transited conjunct by Saturn, so she is also having Pluto square to her Sun at this time.

For myself, my natal Moon and Cancer Ascendant is being squared by Saturn and opposed by Pluto.

My natal Uranus is conjunct tr. Saturn and square tr. Pluto.

Everything feels to be of great meaning now.

Each day brings a new revelation.

Yet with each new insight, there is less and less certainty as to what the final outcome will be.

There are big changes right around the bend for myself, for both of my daughters, for all of us on this planet…

My daughter made a recent posting to her tumblr page that I feel captured this energy of change quite well and I thought I’d share it here, unedited.

My Moon’s heart is deeply touched by my daughter today and I feel proud of her, yet I am also a bit nostalgic and blue….

I suppose I should also mention, that transiting Jupiter is now upon my daughters IC, and almost upon my MC.

Blessings to All!

Feel free to share your personal thoughts/stories. Kachina

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Excuse my terrible grammar

~APB 2/1/10

Day after day, I find myself standing in a chaotic mix of people rushing around a crowded train station. Everyone is always in a hurry to progress to their next destination, always so sure of where they are headed. To my right is a train heading to a place very familiar and comforting; a home if you will. A home full of memories and security. This place is however quite dull and filled with great loneliness. I look to my left and discover a chance to be taken somewhere new, to a place so beautiful and full of excitement and happiness. This place, as tempting as it may seem, is full of insecurity and risks to be taken.

Day in and day out, I stand before my two paths of choice. Never making any final desicions and being perfectly content sitting in stagnation. Suddenly, I begin thinking about time and how much of it I may or may not have left. I become anxious, panicking at the thought of having to decide. I know that I can not take any longer to make this choice. My mind is racing, and I know what I have to do. I inhale deeply, and enter the train on the left.

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Transit Saturn conjunct Sun in Libra: Driving with One Headlight> My Daughter receives a Citation/Affirmation

Two days past my 18 year old daughter was pulled over by a policeman and issued a warning citation.

Her infraction?

Driving with one head light. {{smiles}}

This incident was downright poetic.

Here’s why. 😉

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Grandmother gifts Snuggies in Attempt to Thwart Out-of-Wedlock “Boot-Knockin”: A True Moon Story :)

Here we are counting down the last days until Christmas, and all the young people in my life are a mixed bag of anticipation, hope and trepidation (((laughs))).

Yes, trepidation, over the possibilities of just what might be inside those innocuous appearing wrapped packages, under their grandma’s tree.

It is a well-known fact that grandmothers can, and will, gift you with what they think you need.

After all, they have eons more of experience in life matters than your parents do, and to them, your parents are still kids anyway so therefore they simply cannot be relied on to make sure you have everything you really, truly need.

Now make no mistake, if grandma feels you need Preparation-H (let’s not even get into how or why she would think that..UGH), but the point is, if she THINKS you need Preparation-H, you can bet your arse, that is exactly what you will be unwrapping in front of the whole family at Christmas.

And be prepared, to suck up your mortification and smile big for that picture you know she is going to insist on taking to mark that special occasion.

Nothing like being memorialized in the family albums for all-time with your big ‘ole grin and a tube of Prep-H. (((giggles)))

Who hasn’t been there done that one, though??!!

It is just a part of being a dutiful and appreciative grandchild, and if you were fortunate enough to have grandparents, and they treated you well as grandparents should..then hey, what’s a little personal mortification once or twice a year to show how much you love them, right?

So, onto the story that prompted this blog today.

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Nostalgic to the Core > Natal Moon transited by Uranus, Saturn and Pluto:Daughter’s 22nd Birthday

Today, is my eldest daughter’s birthday.

Today, she is 22.

Yet yesterday she was a defiant teen, and the day before that an awkward pre-teen, and the day before that, it was her first day of kindergarten.

The day previous to that day, she was the toddler with her arms wrapped around my neck, her tiny little face peeking through my hair, as she flirted with whomever was offering her, a much beloved cookie.

Not so many days ago, she was placed upon my breast, this newborn delight of mine, and she smiled up at me with a little pucker of a smile, and I felt a Love and Peace, that is the gift of Motherhood, of which we lack words of enough depth and richness, to even remotely describe this Heavenly Space.

Mother’s reading this, understand this and are in no need of words to describe what this is when holding company with one another, for we feel it and just understand it, this sacred space of a deep, eternal love that we enter into, within these rites of Motherhood.

Yes, I am deeply nostalgic today, and am savoring each and every drop, every single moment of memory, that returns to me this day.

You see, I feel we have these moments, and the whole of these moments, defines the Truth of our existence.

These moments, that define us, are the moments that reside in our Hearts, and are ever present, and ever alive.

I do not believe in living in the past, and yet, I do believe we occasionally need to take a moment, to scan around to be certain, that we have brought forward, all of the really precious wonders, that have brought us to Be, whom we are now.

The moments I carry in my Heart, those shared with both of my daughter’s, and the gift’s they have graced me with, in those shared experiences, are directly responsible for whom I have come to Be, today.

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There are many things I intended to write about today.

Yet as soon as I awoke, the myriad of moments that I shared with my daughter, from the first that she entered this world, indeed from the moment I conceived her, continue to drift through my mind and senses.

This nostalgia is likely intensified today as I am currently in a period with heavy transits to my natal Moon (mother,women), with transiting Uranus and Saturn in square, and Pluto in opposition.

So, I thought maybe I’d try something a little different today, and I am going to review my personal chart for what I had transpiring the year I birthed this lovely child of mine.

If you are so inclined, feel free to share your personal experiences/astrology data in the comment section, I would enjoy sharing this “Sea of Nostalgia” with other parents that wish to savor their moments of wonder the year their children arrived.

So, here goes, a look at how this child entered my universe, via astrological influences. 🙂

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